Naughty Naughty... Bad girl.

Its not my fault! Okay well maybe it is... but I'd like to think it's His. He's the one who teased and teased me!  I was ever so not so innocently doing my accounting homework, He was watching T.V. Do you know how hard for someone with ADHD to focus on accounting when a T.V. is on? Very. So of course He had to keep reminding me to get back to work. I mean He wasn't even watching it, He was reading! I think He had it on just to mess with me... Grr...

Anyway this consent reminding must have ended up annoying Him (as well as me damn it) because He said that if I wasn't going to work I might as well be pleasuring Him. I admit my next course of action may have not have been the smartest... I suck my tongue out at Him. I know right. I must have a death wish.

 Quickly I look down and pretend like I'm doing my homework and that my life and possibly my ass wasn't in danger. I could hear Him set the book down behind me, I stiffened in my seat. Soon I could also hear His foot steps walk up behind me. I knew He was there, but I didn't dare look up. Suddenly I felt hands around my throat, choking me He whispers in my ear. "Do you have something to say to me?"

"Uhh... No Sir?" I choke out.

"Good, now what do you have to say?"He growls

"Nothing?" I whimper.

"What do you have to say?" He asks tightening his grip, making the world tilt slightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He suddenly releases me causing me to fall slightly forward. Griping the back of my neck, He pulls my head up.

"Get to work."

"Y-yes Sir..." Yep so He decided this little transaction must mean its a free for all when it comes to teasing me. Efficiently He drives me insane with lust. Only to be sent home with the orders not to pleasure myself. Yeaaaahhhh.... About that.... Whoops? I'm so getting punished for this, but I couldn't help it. My hand was like just there. Sigh. If you don't hear from me in the nest couple days I'm probably being held captive and being tortured... and not completely in the good way either.

I mean I know I deserve it. I should have followed orders... maybe I subconsciously want to be punished? That could explain why I wanted to so damn bad... Well lets hope it was worth it. I still blame Him...

Honey I'm home!

I walk into the door, and he’s standing there. Leash in hand. It’s been such a long day…Maybe this is what I need? I shut the door behind me and fall to my knees. Bowing my head I wait for him to attach the leash to my collar. When he does he pulls me to my feet and slams me against the door. “Mine.” He growls in my ear.

He wraps the leash around his hand, quickly constricting my movement. I can’t breathe. I can’t speak. I can’t think. His gaze alone takes my breath away. His words easily devour mine. His kissed leave me dizzy and confused.

He picks me up; taking a cue I warp my legs around his waist. My skirt gets pushed up to my waist revealing my red satin panties. Growling he rubs against me, the friction intoxicating. He pushes me into the wall harder making the door rattle. Tipsy on his kisses, I hardly notice how he had carried me just feet away to the couch. Well at least not until he dropped me on it. I try and skirt away daring him to come after me.

Instead I was only yanked back like a little girls rag doll. Practically tripping over myself I land face first on the couch. All the while he stands over demanding complete control and obedience. Before I could scramble into a more dignified position he grabs a hold of my legs swinging them off the edge of the couch. He has me carefully arranged to where I’m on my knees in front of the couch. 

Gracefully he kneels behind me, pushing up my skirt and tearing off my panties. Taking no time with niceties he slams into me with a grunt. When I cry out I’m rewarded with a yank on my leash, which in turn pulls my head up, bowing my back. “Quiet slut. Don’t speak. Don’t move.” Again and again he impales me on his dick.

Suddenly an orgasm was upon me. Pleasure rushed through my being. A hand clamps over my mouth in an effort to stay quiet. Abruptly he was finishing, filling me with his warm seed.  Collapsing beside me, back against the couch he pulls my head into his lap. “Clean and dry me off.” Doing as he says I engulf him in my mouth tongue cleaning off any and all seed and juices. When done my hand reaches out to dry him of my slobber. He pulls me into his lap for murmured words of “Good girl. Good slut.” And a hand stroking my hair, looking up at him I asked 

“So how was your day Sir?” 

Mistakes

I mess up, make mistakes. I biff it, hell I fuck up.  And I hate it when I do; especially when it counts to my Sir. I want to be the best slave and woman I can be. What Submissive doesn’t? But I have issues… What woman doesn’t? I think if I were just to write them down I could get over it, around it even. First is so simple, it really honestly makes me cry sometimes. I can’t listen to orders. Well okay not quite that more like I really fight back. I push and push until I’m made to give in. Now this isn’t to every order…only the ones I don’t agree with. It’s stupid and pitiful. This is something I need to just plain get over! Another is that I seem to think I know what’s best for me. I should accept Sir’s word as law when it comes to my wellbeing. I’ve been getting better at that though. Hmm I have a hard time listening to the rules sometimes in general, mostly the no talking back rule… I’m a feisty girl. I want my way more times than not, even –going back to my last point- if it’s not good for my wellbeing.  Whatever the excuse for me acting out like this whether it’s just me being a bitchy little girl, or some real emotional issue, I need to figure it out if I ever want a training collar. I think I’m going to start leaving notes for myself. I already have one or two on my mirror. Maybe if I can just remind myself…  If I don’t shape up soon I don’t think sitting will be an option much longer. And as much as I like being spanked I’d rather it be because I want it. Not because I made Sir unhappy. 

Yesterdays plane ride.

I have to apologize. I promised a weekend full of amazing writing and sexy smut. Yet I didn’t deliver. In a vain attempt to express why I decided to blog about it. It took my a while to talk myself into it, some reason I think people only want to read the sexy stuff I post and don't care about me much as a person.Well also because Sir said writing and letting my feelings out may help. So here I am. The reason I didn’t serve my dirty writing all wrapped up in kink on a silver platter is because I was morning the loss of a great friend and cousin of mine. I had just sat down to write something yummy, when my father called to tell me Allyson had passed away in a car crash the night before.  Now call me naïve but I’ve never had someone that close to me die before. I was in complete shock. I wish people would prepare you for this kind of thing when growing up. I didn’t talk for several minutes finally when I did somehow the question seriously?  was what slipped out. Then the worst happened; I started to cry. I don’t cry. I mean I have this stupid illogical belief that if I cry the world will crumble around me. So of course I got off the phone as soon as possible, not at all wanting to cry in front of my dad. I quickly ran to the bathroom where I immediately became a mess of snot and tears. Trying to calm myself I called my mother and text Sir to see if I could call him. Once all calls were made I felt not much better, but more in control. The whole weekend pretty much went on like this. As of now I’m on an airplane flying back to Iowa (One of my home states) for the funeral. It’s hard to imagine the bright and shiny girl I used to sleep and the same bed as and share all my secrets with (and even shared a boy with) is gone. I loved her so much; I can only hope she is happy where she is now. She was always such a big fan of me and my writing, I’m sorry she won’t be here to see me publish a book. Nonetheless RIP beloved Allyson. 

Good news!

Alright so many things have happened lately that I find blog worthy, only my internet hates me in this house. The good news is on Thursday we're getting it fixed! Yays! Blog posts for everyone! This weekend I'm just going to sit down and write out some amazing smut, hopefully finishing The Chase. I know a couple of you guys out there loved it ;)

Humiliation.

I have good friends. Friends how always look out for me. A special friend of mine took me out last night to a play. I love the theater. I must admit I wasn't paying much attention last night. My mind was elsewhere, focused on the little round egg vibrating so furiously inside me. My friend had a sort of challenge for me; if I could sit still and keep quiet during the play I would get a reward. It was set on low at first my face turning a deep red right away Slowly I could feel the orgasm creep up on me. Soon I was griping at the arm rest, curling my toes, and biting my lip to keep silent. A slight gasp gave me away none the less. "Turn it up." He whispered.

I did as ordered, and was rewarded with a kiss. The orgasm came much quicker this time, much more sudden. It went on like this until the break came. I was given a short break, but as soon as the play was back on, so was my pleasure. After another orgasm, and quite a mess in my panties. The last scene of the play came on. "Turn it up all the way." I did. The jolt of it making me cough at a quiet moment. Blushing all over again.

I could feel the rise of yet another orgasm coming on, and he could see it as well. "Not yet." He mummers.
"Please." I beg.
"Just wait, hold off as long as you can."
"I can't, oh please just let me."
"No, you can do it."
"Please, please, please."
"Four, three, two, one. Now" In a rush I was consumed by pleasure. I was doing everything I could just to keep quiet. I don't even remember what all the play was about. What a good friend. ;) To bad he wouldn't let me take the toy home.

Just a ity bity post.

Here I am innocently texting in class ( Ok maybe not innocently...) and income some very dirty texts from a very kinky friend of mine. Detailed visions of kidnap and rape start rolling around my head. After about two classes I couldn't take it anymore, I ran off to the girls room in search of some relief. For better or worse I told him what I was doing. He ordered me to call. I told him there was no way I could, I mean what if someone hears! Yet somehow seconds later I was on the phone with him, being call a whore or being told how dirty and slutty I was. How I couldn't even wait to get home before I touched my self. If I could have rubbed against his words I would have. Instead I only had my hand which brought me to orgasm at least twice before I had to scurry off to my next class. I left the bathroom red faced, satisfied, and with a newly found secret. ;)